There are certain things, as a parent, you agree to do when
you have a child. Things that is as
inherent to being a mom or dad as is waking up in the God-awful hours at night
no matter what. I believe with all of my
heart it is a parent’s job to help their children to make their mark on the
world, to leave a legacy. You may not
literally help them do so, but maybe you prepare them for it as they are
growing up, help them take part in things that make them tick, making sure they
know you think they are capable of great things.
And sometimes, you quite literally have to help them leave their
mark. I had always known Jack Holden
Doyle would leave his mark on the world.
From the moment we received his Down syndrome diagnosis I felt deep down
in my gut that he would do things in the this world to let people know who he
was.
When my baby boy left this world a huge part of the mourning
included the knowledge that this beautiful child that we were so ready and
thankful for would never have a chance to leave his ripple in the world. And then the loss felt greater.
You see, we had been preparing and preparing to welcome a
special needs child into our lives. We
read books, made phone calls, met with local organizations, made to-do lists
for the moment he was born and the months an months moving forward to make sure
Jack would get the most out of life from the very beginning. And then he was gone. And all of this energy that had been built up
preparing for him had nowhere to go. At
times it felt like it would crush me.
I talked about him, and wrote about him, and shared his
pictures and footprints and handprints.
I wanted the world to know him. I
wanted to make sure the world knew he had been here. Maybe just for a little while, but he was
here.
And so last year, before Christmas I told Sean I wanted to
start a charity in Jack’s name. I wanted
to try and help make sure his mark was made.
We talked about what we would do and how we would do it and what we
would call it. And after research and
paperwork submissions, and resubmission and second resubmissions, Jack’s Herd,
Inc. was born. We decided that we would
work to help provide the memories, and keepsakes, but most importantly, the
support we received at the hospital in Philadelphia from the nurses and
bereavement team, to local families experiencing the loss of a newborn or
infant child. We want to try and make
sure that these grieving parents know that when they leave the hospital, should
they need support, Jack’s Herd is here for them.
We’ve met with a nurse from the labor and delivery unit of a
local hospital, an amazing woman that pours her heart and soul into making sure
that though they will leave with their arms empty, they will have something to
hold on to in the long days and nights ahead of them. We learned of how little they have to work
with, due to funding constraints, and were reminded again of how lucky we were
to have been at CHOP. We learned that
they’ve lost up to eight newborns in one month and how it was a really awful
month for them. We learned how they have to host bake sales to fund materials. We learned it costs about $30 for a kit to
create the gorgeous foot and hand cast molds they give to grieving parents.
That doesn’t sound like a lot of money but it sounds like it would take an
awful lot of cookies and brownies to pay for one. It shouldn’t be like that, and now it doesn’t
have to be. And any way we can help them
continue to do what they do and give what they provide to families like us,
even if it means I’m using my lacking baking skills to lend a hand.
I went home right away and spent hours compiling all of the things we can do for and donate to them. Figuring out how much money we will need to raise yearly to be able to help them continue giving the beautiful gift they provide to their families.
And just like that we found somewhere to direct that
energy. A way to show our undying love
for Jack still exists and always will, even with the passing of time. I will make sure our baby boy’s name is
known. I will make sure that the awful
loss our family endured and our experience was not just about heartache, but
about the love for a boy that just couldn’t stay but will always be with
us. And so now the beggar in me has to
come out. To prevent me from torturing
people with burned cookies and flat brownies that taste like nothing, consider
joining Jack’s Herd. Visit our website
and join the mailing list so when we hold fundraisers or events, you have to
chance to help us help others through my beautiful boy’s name. Or maybe order a bracelet or necklace from
Bravelets, a great organization that donates 10% of each item’s cost back to
Jack’s Herd, Inc, for the next gift you have to give. More than that though, get the word out. Talk about it. Talk about him. Share Jack’s story and help me spread his
legacy. Help me leave my boy’s mark on
the world. He was meant to do big things
in this world, help him do that through me.
Simply by reading this, you are part of Jack’s Herd. And I thank you, from the bottom of my broken
heart.
